posted: Oct. 28, 2020.
When I was 14 years old I experienced my first break-up. Now this wasn’t just any breakup, this was my first real boyfriend and I was head over heels in the way only 14 year olds are. And in true 90’s style, the guy had a brown mullet, with blonde, feathered bangs.( I Know, right?????) I thought he was the bees knees and I was absolutely in love. I mean, who can resist a mullet????? Anyway, he broke up with me over the phone. I remember I was in my bedroom and upon hanging up my pink, corded phone, I let out a scream/cry that came from the depths of my young teenage soul. Both of my parents ran up the stairs, I’m sure expecting to find me with a broken bone or some other such injury that would explain such a horrendous scream. It wasn’t a physical injury, but it sure felt like one, a broken heart. My 14 year-old self was completely and utterly devastated.
Earlier that evening, I had gone with my mother to the local carnival to get funnel cakes. And I still was savoring it when I received the phone call from my mullet-loving boyfriend. And since then I have had a repulsion for the tasty treat. My brain had made an association between the fried gooey wonderfulness that is a funnel cake, and the heartbreak that felt so devastating at the time. And until recently, I have not allowed myself to eat another one. Crazy, right??? Well when you think about it, we all have beliefs like this that prevent us from truly sucking the marrow (or delicious powdered sugar) from life. Maybe you had a depressed parent who made you feel guilty every time you felt happy, so you learned to repress positive feelings. Or a teacher that made you feel stupid, so you continued to carry around that belief about yourself. Whatever it is for you, those beliefs can be challenged and removed from your subconscious or conscious belief system. But the first step is becoming aware of these underlying beliefs.
I am happy to say that I recently treated myself to a funnel cake with chocolate syrup drizzled over it and enjoyed every last bit. My subconscious mind, that is there to protect me, tried to remind me that by eating it, I was setting myself up for a possible disaster, but my new conscious belief let me know that funnel cakes are safe, and even more than that, can bring me joy. I don’t have to be ruled by my old belief system. And this is true for each one of us!